How to Be a Better LGBTQ Ally

How to walk the talk to support the queer people in your life.

Kristen Pizzo
3 min readJun 16, 2020
Photo by Toni Reed on Unsplash

Posting rainbow hashtags, resharing the news of the Supreme Court decision, and condemning the Trump administration for their recent attack on transgender healthcare are all great armchair ally moves, but there’s more you can do to support your queer friends and family.

Allyship can take on many forms. Any degree of support for the LGBTQ people in your life is better than none, but sometimes shallow, performative allyship can do more harm than good.

Here’s a classic, common scenario:

A person comes out as gay or trans.

Their family is surprised, but comes around. The person is never physically or verbally attacked and is welcome in the family home and at all family functions.

And the “support” ends there. Maybe there’s an occasional Facebook post from mom, but other than that, the family stays silent on LGBTQ issues and never publicizes their child’s identity or romantic relationships and never corrects others who refer to them with incorrect pronouns.

Some families are private, and that is okay. But others are selectively private when it comes to their queer children.

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